再見,有著血緣關系的陌生人

                        發布時間:2019-04-26 01:29 作者:admin 瀏覽數:

                          

                          文/鄧安慶

                          今天在地鐵上遇到了我的表哥,一上車我就認出來了。在外婆家的相冊里,我總能看到二舅一家的全家福和表哥的照片。他還是像相片里那樣黑而瘦,中等個子,穿著藍色運動裝。我們之間隔著一對情侶,他靠在車廂門上,低頭玩手機。我一下子想不起他叫什么名字,也不知道他是什么性格。如果貿然上去打招呼,會不會嚇到他?

                          他是二舅的心頭寶,二舅是外婆和全家人的心頭寶。只有小學文化的二舅十八歲當上了空軍,后來轉業成了一名專飛國際航班的飛行員,二舅媽則是空姐。

                          二十四年前,我們舉家去廣州二舅家探親,表哥那時候八歲,我六歲。在二舅家,我第一次見到了一桌子的零食,都是表哥的,還有各種玩具,也是他的。這些爸爸媽媽都不讓我亂碰的。他還有鋼琴,二舅讓他彈奏給我們聽。他老大不情愿給我們彈起了《一閃一閃亮晶晶》。我著了迷地看著那從黑白鍵里發出來的聲音,像是圓潤的水珠滴落在我的臉上。

                          第二次見到他時,他十四歲,我十二歲。為了二舅一家的到來,我媽媽、我姨媽、大舅媽、三舅媽都齊聚到我外婆家,把屋子里里外外打掃得干干凈凈的,生怕他們在城市上待習慣了,嫌鄉下臟。

                          我們這些男孩還去長江邊的暗蕩掏螺螄,提前一天就放在水盆泡好了。現宰的家養公雞,現從魚塘撈的胖頭魚,外公大清早起來現做的豆腐,都一一備好了。外婆坐在灶臺前,緊張地讓媽媽、姨媽準備好各種佐料,大蔥、生姜、大蒜,黃豆醬不能要,城市上的人肯定嫌臟。

                          二舅他們一家不在外婆家住的,他們在城區最好的龍潭賓館訂了房間,只是中午回來看看。大表哥軍哥早早地在村子的路口等著,外婆緊張得碗拿起都顫顫的。她做的這些菜,都是二舅愛吃的,也會是二舅的孩子愛吃的,因為那孩子是她去廣州帶大的。

                          “來啦來啦!”軍哥一路往外婆家跑一路喊著,后面一輛黑色奧迪沿著村頭土路穩穩地開了過來。全家人從堂屋、灶屋、池塘、豆腐坊沖出來聚在一起,站在豆場上,看車子停下,二舅、二舅媽和表哥相繼從車子里出來。站在最前面的外婆和外公開始眼角濕潤了,而其他圍觀的鄉親對著二舅一家和車子嘖嘖稱嘆。

                          二舅的確是當空軍的料子,那時雖然四十出頭,穿著咖啡色長風衣,依舊挺拔英俊;二舅媽一點不像是我想象中空姐的樣子,暗黃色的臉上看樣子煞是嚴肅,見地上的雞屎皺了皺眉頭;表哥是個黑瘦的少年,他跟在爸媽的身后,看樣子很緊張。

                          二舅叫了一聲“媽”,外婆的眼淚落了又落,手在二舅的風衣拍了拍,像是怕拍臟了又縮了回來。二舅轉頭看看二舅媽,二舅媽短促地叫了一聲媽,一只母雞竄了過去,她嚇了一跳。表哥此時站在他媽媽的身后,見二舅看他,他低頭輕輕地喊了一聲:“奶奶。”外婆探頭看他,“長高了!變瘦了!”表哥躲在后面不過來。外婆對著邊上的姨媽說:“他還和小時候一樣,害羞!”

                          我們都被大舅給轟了出來,各自站在池塘邊的豆場上。遠遠地我看見打掃得亮亮堂堂的堂屋擺著四方桌子,鋪上了新買的桌布,舅媽把菜都一一地放好了,有炒螺絲、蓮藕燉排骨、魚燉豆腐、青椒炒肉、牛肉燉蘿卜,還有糯米丸子,都是過年才能吃到的,饞死我了。

                          二舅一家三口各自坐在桌子一邊,外婆在廚房熱菜,大舅媽傳菜。我們都不敢說話,大舅說我們要像城市的文明人一樣學會安靜。他們一小口一小口吃著米飯,一小勺一小勺舀著湯,一小筷一小筷夾著肉。那些看熱鬧的鄉親感慨城市上的人吃飯真斯文啊。我看得很著急,那些冒著熱氣的湯都快冷了,他們還是慢騰騰的。

                          二舅站起來走到門口說:“大哥,你們都進來吃啊!”大舅搖搖手,遠遠地說:“我們不餓!”二舅又對著灶房喊:“媽,你過來一起吃吧。菜夠了。”外婆一邊燒火一邊搖手:“這點菜哪里夠!”二舅看了看堂屋,又看了看我們,輕嘆了一口氣,又轉身回到桌子上。

                          吃完飯,大舅帶二舅一家去二樓休息。那房間新買了床鋪、床單和桌椅,水泥地上用拖把拖了幾遍,墻壁上重新粉刷一新。二舅站在房子中央,我們都跟著過來看著他們,看看又忍不住笑。很奇怪,我記得那種不由自主的笑,也不知道是笑什么。他們看過來,我們躲了躲,他們看別處,我們又上前湊了湊。

                          二舅媽脫下外套,環顧四周。二舅問:“你在找什么?”二舅媽遲疑地問:“沒有衣架嗎?”大舅立馬對軍哥說:“趕緊去借個衣架!”軍哥撒開腿就下了樓,沖到隔壁家去借了一個木衣架又飛速地奔回來,好像遲一刻就會世界崩塌。

                          衣架剛放好,軍哥的氣還沒喘順,二舅媽待要掛上衣服又沒掛。二舅又問:“怎么不掛?”二舅媽嘟囔了一聲:“有灰。”立馬大舅媽就沖著樓下喊:“快拿毛巾來,濕的!”馬上姨媽沖了上來,拿著打濕的新毛巾,把衣架擦拭了一遍。

                          休息好了,跟外公外婆大舅他們說了一會兒話,二舅一家的探親就結束了。那輛奧迪又一次開了過來。二舅一家走到車前,二舅媽很快鉆進了車子,表哥也跟著鉆進去,二舅站定回頭,“我明年再回來看你們。”二舅低頭朝車子里說:“你出來跟大家說聲再見啊。”表哥又從車里出來,紅著臉,往我們這邊草草地揮揮手說了聲再見又鉆了進去。

                          二舅搖搖頭,再次跟我們揮手。我們站在豆場上看著車子載著他們絕塵而去。外婆一個勁兒在抹眼淚,眼角處紅紅的。二舅留下了一大筆錢給外公外婆,也給我們各家親戚一筆錢,讓我們好好照顧二老。

                          外婆做的菜剩下來大部分,他們沒有吃多少,熱一熱我們敞開懷吃光了。一天我們幾乎沒有吃一口飯,也不覺得餓,此時各自像是卸了重擔一般,要好好飽餐一回。我去灶房拿菜,外婆正在灶臺邊上熱菜,對著幫忙的媽媽說:“你看看他,多瘦啊。他小時候我帶著,白白胖胖的。成天帶著他,也不敢出門,外面那些人說話我也聽不懂。難受的很。唉,他太瘦了。剛才忘了跟老二說一聲,讓他多吃飯。”

                          兩年后,外婆去世了。再過一年,外公去世了。兩次葬禮都只有二舅一個人回來,他支付了所有的喪葬費。在此之后,二舅也沒有再回來過了。而表哥我只聽說在國內考大學沒考好,被二舅送到英國讀大學了,花費百萬。再后來聽說他在北京買了房,在某國際知名的大企業里工作,跟一位家境很好的女孩結婚。我所知道只有這些。

                          現在他就站在我前面,低頭看著手機,跟當初站在外婆家看著地面一樣的神態。那時我也是遠遠地盯著他看,他卻沒有抬頭看我們其中任何一個人。他羞澀地、沉默地低著頭。外婆拉著他的手時,他也只是盡著義務不把手收回。他熟悉而陌生,對我來說,他一直在一個光滑的殼里,來自于鄉村的泥土不曾沾染上半點,而那些一年又一年找他爸爸求助的鄉村“窮親戚們”也不會讓他留下什么印象。

                          媽媽說,你二舅家跟我們不一樣,你表哥跟你不是一個階層的人,你別去找他;媽媽說,當初我們家窮,都是你二舅借錢給我們;媽媽說,我給你洗澡,你二舅媽站在浴室門口看著,我對你二舅媽說二姐你去歇息吧她就是不走,我曉得她怕我把她的東西用壞……

                          二舅每一年的大年初一都會打電話過來,給我們家拜年。媽媽問:“你全家好嗎?孩子好嗎?”二舅說好啊好啊,退休了,等著抱孫子。二舅問:“你全家好嗎?孩子好嗎?”媽媽說好啊好啊,地里莊稼收成好,孫子兩個了。

                          他們兄妹在兩個完全不同的世界,而我跟現就在眼前的表哥會是在一個世界里嗎?我該不該上去對表哥說:“好多年不見,你好嗎?”我該不該跟他說:“從小我就穿著你的衣服長大的,從廣州寄來的一袋袋舊衣服里,媽媽把你的褲子剪短鎖邊,然后給我穿。”

                          或許我可以跟他好好聊聊,說:“嘿,表哥,你這些年是怎樣的生活?”或許我們還能成為好朋友,說些天南海北的話,喝幾杯酒,面紅耳赤地拍拍對方肩頭。可是我沒問,一種很奇怪的矜持感阻礙著我上前去。

                          到站了,走出門時,我再回頭看了看他——再見,有著血緣關系的陌生人。

                        (責任編輯:admin)
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