最深的懷念是放手——寫給好兄弟傅強

                        發布時間:2019-03-14 20:07 作者:admin 瀏覽數:

                          

                          文/張濤 張連珠

                          一場秋雨一場寒!在這深秋的蕭瑟中,滿眼是零落輾轉入塵泥的黃葉。生命亦如此,絢爛之極,旋即轉于衰敗。當這種委頓的念頭生起,心便沉溺在無盡的悲切與牽念中。轉眼已是一年,去年此時,你驟然離去,而今人面不知何處去尋?

                          這一年中,幾次經過醫院,不由自主地就想進去看看你,卻在剎那間驚覺,你,早已不在!幾次在觥籌交錯中,有誰不經意地提到你的名字,一瞬間,心就如同被麥芒刺中一樣,那疼痛中泛著無盡的悲涼。無法琢磨命運的玄機,失去你,就像被鞭子狠狠地抽打了一頓,動輒就徹骨地疼痛,但遍尋四處,卻不知道是誰下的黑手。還有什么比這更讓人憋屈?無法質問,不能廝打,竟然只能接受,而且只能眼睜睜地接受,不能咆哮,甚至不能涕泣,因為我們是男人。

                          一定是很奇妙的因緣,此生讓我們在茫茫人海中遇見并同窗多年。你恬淡、隨緣、溫和、良善的性情曾經給予了我們太多的慰藉。俗世中人所熱衷追逐的那些名望、財利,對你來說都是順其自然,你總是循規而不會強求,所以有你在,日子總是有著最溫暖的底色。魯迅先生說過:“人生得一知己足矣,斯世當以同懷視之。”一直以為無論我們是相聚時暢聊分享,還是分離時遙祝激勵,我們一輩子都會這樣相互扶助相互勉勵走下去,即使我們早就看透“人生寄一世,奄忽若飚塵”的無常,但殊不知這無常的現實總是讓人措手不及,而今天人永隔,現在惜緣已是晚矣。

                          這一年當中,每每看到你蒼老的父母,憔悴的愛人,大學就讀的孩子,心酸至極!沒有辦法撫平這徹骨的傷痛,有時感覺到無能為力,因為他們真正需要的是一個噓寒問暖的兒子,一個相濡以沫的丈夫,一個舐犢情深的父親,也就是不可替代的你啊,而我們這些親如手足的兄弟,能做的只有盡我們的力量去關懷撫慰些許,真是愧怍啊!

                          佛經上說,如果過度掛念離去的人,會使他魂魄不安,心生悲戚,陷入無盡的深淵。所以,即使我們有太多的不舍,太多的掛念,也只能放手,因為對一個人真正的情誼是希望這個人能過得好。況且,你曾經的言行、品德,點點滴滴都已經滲透并生長在我們的生命中。所以,你并不曾遠去,在我們心里,你都是那個讓人一想到名字就覺得溫暖的人。

                          從此我們各自輾轉,但兄弟啊,這一聲呼告承載了所有用語言無法盡述的情誼,唯愿你身無掛礙,心無恐怖,找到自己的另一個起點。

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