痛苦沒有比較級

                        發布時間:2019-01-07 22:42 作者:admin 瀏覽數:

                            
                          文/張君雅
                          
                          今天聽到兩個故事。
                          
                          一、有對年輕的夫婦經歷了很多次努力好不容易懷孕了,結果孩子出生才發現是個智障兒。孩子長大之后生活完全不能夠自理,那對夫妻憑著一點點微薄的政府救助,辛辛苦苦把孩子帶到二十來歲,雖然清貧,倒也安寧。沒風沒雨的日子,夫妻倆會踩著三輪車帶著孩子出去走走逛逛,丈夫踩著車子,孩子坐在車上,妻子在一旁幫忙推著,有時還幫丈夫擦擦汗。到孩子二十四五歲的時候,他們還是會經常一起出現在那個城市的大街小巷,只是那個丈夫已經不在,取而代之的是妻子吃力地踩著三輪車,而孩子依舊是呆滯的表情。又過了幾年,那個城市的人們都幾乎要把他們淡忘掉的時候他們再次出現了,而這一次,是那個智障的孩子笨拙地踩著三輪車帶著病重的母親。
                          
                          二、有個女孩,年紀很小的時候父母就離婚了。她母親是某個城市的某家商業銀行的行長,工作一直非常繁忙,幾年后再婚,又嫁給了個身價頗為可觀的富豪。女孩長得很漂亮,學習成績也不錯,再加上家境可觀,在學校里很能贏得男生們的青睞,所以在女生之中人緣倒并不是很好。也就是這樣,那個女孩才特別努力地去討好周圍的人,甚至努力得有些刻意。女孩自己在日記中寫道,她不相信長久的感情,不管是哪一種。因為沒有安全感,所以她才會去拼命迎合別人才獲得認同跟接納,即使那個人僅僅是萍水相逢。
                          
                          我想不管是那個面對著孩子呆滯的表情跟自己孱弱的身軀的母親,還是那個受過創傷內心沒有被陽光照到那么多年的女孩,她們應該都是孤獨無助的吧。也許有很多人看到那個女孩,會覺得她的一切似乎都那么美好,美好到沒有任何不快樂的理由。但是我始終認為痛苦是沒有比較級的,對于一個心智未開的孩童失去一根雪糕的痛苦就已經足夠大,就算在剛剛失去一份工作的人眼里這根本算不上什么。而對于我來說,我聆聽一切真實的痛苦,我拒絕一切無病呻吟。

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