黃土

                        發布時間:2019-01-30 20:13 作者:admin 瀏覽數:

                            
                          文/鄒志安
                          
                          我的父親是一個極普通的農民,勞動一生,默默死去,像一把黃土。黃土長了莊稼,卻并不為太多的人注意。全中國老一輩的大多數農民都是這樣。
                          
                          他死于肺心病、這是嚴重威脅勞動人民健康的疾病之一。中國農民在平時,是不大主動去醫院檢查身體的,即有病躺倒,還要拖磨。我父親民國十八年遭年饉時去南山背糧,走冰溜子,回來時凍掉了十個腳指甲,并且扎下了病根。以后一直半聲咳嗽,而從不看病吃藥。直到死前幾個月,在我強迫下才去醫院作了平生第一次心電圖。醫生打比方說:“機器運轉一生,主機已經磨損,太缺少修復和保養了!”為了挽救,吃“心脈寧”一類比較貴的藥。他問:”一瓶多少錢?”聽說有三元多,半天沉默不語,后來就說:“不要買藥了,我不要緊。”當我不在時,就偷偷停止服藥。他一定計算過:一瓶藥的價值要買近二十斤鹽,要讓兒媳們勞動好多天。
                          
                          他平生也就只知道勞動。繁重的勞動使他累彎了腰。不知創造了多少財富,自己卻舍不得亂花一分錢。有一次我給了他兩元零用錢讓他買點好吃的,半年后他還在身上裝看。在重病期間他出現了譫語,凈念叨“把豬喂了沒有”、“把鋤頭安好”、“麥黃了就快收”之類。臨死時他默默流淚,留戀這個世界——他為之灑盡汗水然而仍不富裕的世界。
                          
                          父親從來無是無非,關心而弄不明白各種國家大事,可以說在精神上是貧困的。富有者被給與,貧困者被剝奪,那么他是被剝奪了:從前因為貧因而沒有機會接受文化教育,后來倒是不斷地接受各種政治教育,而終于都沒有弄明白。但他顯然沒有遺憾過,因為他有勞動,因此而填補了一切缺憾。巧者勞矣智者憂,無能者無所求……但他還有所求——祈求世事不亂,有安穩的日子。
                          
                          他現在去了!黃土上勞動一生,最后回到黃土里去。黃土是博大寬容的,無論善與惡,最終收容了所有的人。
                          
                          那時我跪在泥水里為他送行。我曾經想到過:他活了七十七歲,已很不易;而我們周圍能活七八十歲的老人又實在太少。不是老人們不想活,也決非兒女們不孝順,實在是因為生活水平太差、那么,盡快發展生產,改善人民生活,則是兒女們挽留老人多駐一時的最符孝道的方法了。哭也徒然,哀也無助。死者長已矣,生者當勉力。
                          
                          將軍和領導人死了,會有無數悼文,因為他們功勛昭著,一個普通勞動者死了,我們撒下這一把黃土,并期望世人能夠容納。

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