一個沒擠上火車的人

                        發布時間:2019-01-30 20:13 作者:admin 瀏覽數:

                            
                          文/申賦漁
                          
                          火車越來越快,年輕的父親跟著車子,拼命奔跑,跑著、跑著……這是1994年的大年初一。
                          
                          1993年大年三十的前一天,我從珠海到廣州,趕乘火車回家。當天沒買到票,天就黑了。一隊巡邏的人跑過來,把廣場上的人群驅趕出去。
                          
                          我回家的路費是向朋友借的,舍不得去住旅館。原本打算在廣場坐上一夜,沒想到會被趕走,只好背了包一直往前。
                          
                          沒有親身經歷過的人是想象不出這么個壯觀而凄涼的場面的。已經是除夕的前夜了,火車站附近的路邊、公園、高架橋下的空地上,挨挨擠擠全是人。許多人已在這里坐了幾天了,像無家可歸的難民。在一個不知名的公園門外,我靠墻坐著,一覺睡到清晨,響著音樂的灑水車過來都不知道,被冷水澆了一頭一臉,才醒過來。
                          
                          第二天,已是大年三十,廣場上買票的隊伍依然長不見尾,一動不動。天漸漸黑下來,我知道,又無望了。我背了包,跑到窗口,想看個究竟。售票的窗子開著,里面一個穿著制服的女人端端正正地坐著,并不售票。再看別的窗口,也是一樣。是票賣完了么?怎么沒貼告示?為什么還開著窗口,讓一廣場的人傻傻排隊呢?正疑問,幾個帶了臂章維持秩序的人走過來,惡狠狠地讓我到后面排隊。
                          
                          一種荒謬感涌上心頭。我離開火車站,重又回到那個不知名的公園邊上,坐下來,這是昨晚睡覺的地方。
                          
                          夜深了,被驅趕的人們,蔓延到了這個不知名的公園邊上。半夜12點多,忽然被孩子的哭聲驚醒。昏暗路燈下一對年輕的夫婦,輕聲哄著孩子,小女孩6歲多,揉著眼睛大哭。怕是被噩夢纏著,醒不過來。媽媽抱在懷里拍著、拍著,孩子哭聲低下去,睡了。
                          
                          我睡不著。老家這會已在放新年的鞭炮了吧。老家的習慣,子夜一過,便立即放鞭炮祈福,放得越早越有福。父親其實夜里12點前是不睡的,守著時間,放了鞭炮,上了香,再睡。
                          
                          我跟弟弟睡一張床,一顛一倒。大年初一,天剛亮,便默不作聲地起床,新棉襖、新褲子、新布鞋、新棉襪。我和弟弟互不搭理,一句話不講。為什么?新年開口第一句話就得拜年,而拜年,必須按長幼次序來。
                          
                          先到爺爺床前,"恭喜您,爺爺。""恭喜您,爺爺。""恭喜你們。"爺爺咳嗽一聲,從枕頭底下掏出兩個紅包,一人一個。拿了,飛跑到父親房間。"恭喜爸爸。""恭喜你們。"爸爸媽媽的紅包年三十晚上就給了,給了其實也沒什么意思,過了年還得還給他們。爺爺的就不要還了。這時候,弟弟還是不跟我講話,因為還沒給媽媽拜年。媽媽在廚房,早飯已經做得差不多。"恭喜媽媽。""恭喜你們,相公。"媽媽說。"恭喜你,哥哥。"弟弟終于回過頭跟我說。這是一年中,他唯一一次喊我哥哥。
                          
                          我點點頭,擺出哥哥的樣子:"也恭喜你,弟弟。"我也是唯一一次喊他弟弟,平時都是互喊名字。
                          
                          我靠在墻根底下想著這過年的事,那小女孩又哭起來。我回過頭。孩子的爸爸朝我歉意地笑笑:"孩子幾天沒睡,受苦了,做夢呢。"我點點頭:"也沒買到票啊?""票買到了,沒擠上車。""啊?你怎么買到票的?窗口根本不賣的啊。""窗口是不賣,我們開始也不知道,后來聽人說要去住賓館,賓館能幫買票,貴一點。""這樣啊!你們住哪家賓館?"
                          
                          在離火車站不遠的一家叫"環西"的招待所交了住宿費、車票費、手續費,終于拿到車票。看了看發票,上面隨便寫了個日期。我并不在意。
                          
                          我很高興地抓著票進到候車室,愉快地坐在包上等火車。忽然走過來一個穿制服、沒有戴帽子的人,讓我把票拿出來,說是查票。我很篤定地說:我有票。我把票遞給他。他一拿到票,抬腳就跨到了長椅的另一面。我大喊起來:"有人搶車票啦!"那人隔著椅子站著,并不走,對我說道:"再喊就撕掉。你拿一百塊,就還你。"喊是沒用的,候車室又吵又亂,沒有人管。也沒法去追,因為我不能扔下我的包。我沒有一百元,我只有五十元。他接過五十元,把票還給我,一轉身,立即消失在人群當中。我死死地握著票,呆子一樣坐著,努力不肯流下淚來。
                          
                          大年初一,去南京的火車一動不動地停在站臺。人山人海,我不要命地往上擠,終于擠上去,被扁扁地卡在一個窗子的邊上,臉朝外。火車緩緩啟動,門關上,許多人跟在后面跑著、跑著。忽然看到昨晚坐在我邊上的那個小女孩的父親,跟著車子,拼命奔跑。只有他。小女孩和她的媽媽怕是已經擠上了車。
                          
                          火車越來越快,年輕的父親跑著、跑著……這是1994年的大年初一。

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