“絕望的養老”,看完心情難以平復

                        發布時間:2019-05-25 22:47 作者:admin 瀏覽數:

                        有沒有想過,當你老了,你的老年生活會如何度過?居家養老,由孩子或者保姆照顧;公立養老院養老,住得起但條件可能不太好;私立養老院,環境不錯但貴得有點嚇人。

                        每一種養老方式都是真實存在的,而當有一天我們真的老到不能動,沒辦法自己做飯洗衣的時候,我們也都不得不面對如何養老這個問題。

                        當然,朋友們也無需太過擔心,畢竟開開心心過好現在的每一天才是最為重要的!

                        “絕望的養老”,看完心情難以平復

                        老和死,哪個更可怕?

                        老和死,如果比較起來,哪種結局更可怕?我以為,死,難道可怕嗎?不可怕,因為地球有人類以來,已經走了近千億人。況且,我們在街道上看著能行走的人,大都熬不過百年,統統要歸于天堂,普天下眼前能走動的人,總會有一天陪著你我先后到天堂,有什么可怕的?

                        正常的生到死,轉瞬間。死,是必然,死,是一種解脫。老,就可怕了,尤其老到不能自理,一切你年青力壯時,輕松自如自己打理自己吃喝拉撒睡,維持你生存的能力全部喪失后,那才可怕,可怕到什么程度?可怕到生不如死;可怕到時間是折磨你的魔鬼,可怕到連做人的基本尊嚴都沒有。

                        你束手無策,你惶惶不可終日,全仰仗別人可憐與斥責并存下的恩賜。如果不幸碰上不孝兒女或冷漠心煩的保姆,更會平生心如刀絞的絕望。所以,面對每個人的終極,我不由得曾發出自己深深的長嘆:我不怕死,我怕老。

                        “絕望的養老”,看完心情難以平復

                        老了誰來照顧你?

                        近日微信上瘋傳由北京某公司副總裁周云偉推薦的一篇文章,讀來的確發人深省。

                        這與我前幾年看了許多遍由作家曲蘭寫的《老年悲歌》之后來相比的話,是再次觸動我的一篇文章,觸動的我猛然意識到,如果不出意外那種正常老到不能自理的時候,已是一種絕望的狀態在等著我,或者也可能涉及到你?

                        為何要這樣說?作家曲蘭說過這樣的意思:無論你年青時容貌有多么的俊秀,身材有多么的好看,身體有多么的健康,但你老了,而且是正常的老,你必然要經歷一段你痛苦無望的時間段,在這個痛苦無望的時間段,每個人都要接受別人的照顧你才能活下去。那誰來照顧你老呢?這可能就是你的伴侶?你的孩子?社會提供的養老機構等等。

                        但是,如果你的伴侶先于你之前走了?或是你獨生的孩子,因工作和事業繁忙實在沒法照顧你,那怎么辦?孤立無援的你,只能面對養老機構。

                        “絕望的養老”,看完心情難以平復

                        養老院,你住得起嗎?

                        就在我沒看到這篇推薦的文章之前,我還幻想還執著不準備麻煩孩子,將來一門心思要到養老機構準備養老的時候,我卻看到了文章中所描寫的讓我目瞪口呆的殘酷現實:

                        “當我開始在網上查找養老院的資料,發現在一線城市,公立的床位有限,排隊幾年都未必排上,私立的收費昂貴,床位費+餐費+護理費,6000元起步,醫療費另計。有國際合作背景的養老公寓,則高達萬元以上。”

                        “離我家最近的一個賓館式養老中心,有中式、美式、歐式、韓式、日式、東南亞式多種風格房間選擇,配備了國際醫院,但入住36平米的標準間,半自理的每月5800,非自理的每月8600,不包餐費,如果需要特護,有一房一廳和兩房一廳包房兩種選擇,最高達15000元以上。這是我母親退休金的10倍。”

                        “絕望的養老”,看完心情難以平復

                        家庭的溫情,最終或許都會毀在缺錢上

                        文章接著說:“母親沉默片刻,說,老家那邊有條件比較差的養老院,每月只要1500,是舊倉庫改的。要么,去更偏僻的有教會背景的養老院。她的支支吾吾里已經沒有底氣,因為她知道那種環境和生活質量,是不會舒服的。”

                        “然后我給她計算居家養老的成本,如果她不能自理,那么請護工的費用,也將在5000以上,護工會陪伴老人,按摩喂藥喂食,協助大小便,推輪椅出去散步,而如果家里人要忙工作,再請個保姆買菜做飯洗衣拖地,至少要3000元以上。這樣不比住養老院便宜,還要為護工和保姆提供食宿。”

                        我從上一段話里,讀到了什么?讀到了一種未來的悲哀和絕望。如果我家的老人健康長壽到最終不能自理的時候,我很有可能也會遇到類似的處境,如果我母親希望居家或住養老院養老,那我就沒有經濟實力再給自己養老了。這種中國式的養老,說來說去,其“家庭的溫情,最終都毀在缺錢上”。

                        “絕望的養老”,看完心情難以平復

                        當個養老奴,是個彈盡糧絕的付出

                        我是什么時候開始琢磨這個養老問題的?大概在我四十五歲以后就時常琢磨這個問題。這很像我在未婚前,為了找一個有情有義的女人能相守一輩子,我也做了相關的心理準備和知識準備。

                        我開始認真琢磨這個養老問題,起因就在我看了《老年悲歌》之后,我也為此做了一些物質準備和心理準備,因為人到中年快接近老年時,不能不想這個問題了。

                        然而,當下現實的殘酷性在于:年青人為了結婚能有房子住,不得不貸款購房成為終身的“房奴”;老年人忙碌一輩子工作好不容易解脫剛開始考慮自己的事,就要應孩子的請求看護下下代而成為“孩奴”。

                        “絕望的養老”,看完心情難以平復

                        眼下當你還在辛苦付出看護下下代的過程中,一件比一件糟心的事接踵而至,什么提倡以抵押住房方式來養老防老,還有什么退休后要繼續繳醫保費用才能領取養老金,這事還糾結你時,卻猛然發現你將來的養老費用,如同房子和墓地漲價一樣,已經漲得你沒辦法用你現有的養老金,再去給公辦或是民辦養老機構支付高昂的的養老費用了。

                        文章還有一句話說的可怕:“當個養老奴,是個彈盡糧絕的付出。”我怎么嗅出養老是比得個絕癥到醫院讓你傾家蕩產還要恐怖的一件事?

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