你不知道我是多么的后悔_

                        發布時間:2019-05-04 18:01 作者:admin 瀏覽數:

                          

                          文/落桐

                          那年的秋天,窗外有細風漫過梧桐的青翠綠葉,顧清朗作為學生代表闊步走上學校大禮堂的講臺,底下千人肅靜,人人都仰望著這傳說中的天才少年。周小年遲到晚來,他弓著腰偷偷溜進禮堂后門,卻不小心弄翻了自己的書包,一本書滑了出來,有眼尖的同學看到書名,是《世界七大數學猜想》。

                          “作為高一新生,我將不遺余力地致力于我的學習,以及追求我的夢想……”

                          周小年呆呆地看著講臺上慷慨激昂的顧清朗,扭頭抓住一個人就問:“他是誰啊?”

                          “他是誰你都不知道?”被問者把鄙夷的鼻孔沖著周小年,把戀慕的眼光拋向臺上,“他就是全國奧賽金獎得主,天才少年顧清朗啊!”

                          此時。顧清朗已演講完畢,四周響起清脆的掌聲,顧清朗昂首挺胸,驕傲地走過眾人,走過周小年。

                          周小年未曾想過自己竟和顧清朗分到一個班。數學課上,刁鉆出名的老師把一道號稱高三生都解不出的難題丟到黑板上,有同學倒吸一口氣,而更多的人只是呆滯地盯著書本看。但顧清朗不,顧清朗面帶不屑的笑容,他輕捏粉筆解答公式,胸有成竹一氣呵成,走下講臺時,全班響起嘩嘩的掌聲。

                          老師抱胸立在一邊微笑,周小年舉手,老師點點頭,問:“這位同學你有什么想法嗎?”

                          周小年悶不吭聲,拿起顧清朗用過的半截粉筆在方程式的末端畫出問號。“老師,題目本身就出了點小錯誤,所以我認為需要先論證一下題目的可解性再做出相應答案。”

                          全班嘩然,只有老師啪啪地鼓起掌來:“記住,我們學習,不是為了機械地解題,更多的時候,是要先學會質疑和思考。這一點,請你們向周小年同學學習!”

                          周小年受寵若驚,慌忙弓著腰偷偷跑回自己的座位。顧清朗昂起頭看他,卻赫然發現,目光穿越周小年的頭頂照在白花花的大理石地板上,而他,竟然被周小年的影子覆蓋了。

                          籃球場上,周小年穿著11號球衣奮力投籃,汗水順著少年的衣裳滴落下來,有女生在旁邊小聲驚呼:“好帥啊!”

                          顧清朗接過身邊跟班遞過來的礦泉水,大口大口,喝得迅疾而倉促。

                          那日,如果有細心的同學回憶起這一幕,那么他們應該記得,整場比賽中,顧清朗的重心只放在一個人身上,那就是周小年。無論周小年在接球、傳球、助跑,還是投籃,顧清朗都會沖上去奮力拼搶,他的姿態有種過于較真的執拗,以至于失去了往日不屑一顧的鎮定。

                          于是,漸漸有同學竊竊私語,說顧清朗覺得自己的天才身份遭到了挑戰,所以處處為難周小年。周小年卻一如既往樂呵呵地和顧清朗打招呼,探討數學問題,絲毫不把對方的態度當成問題。

                          轉眼就到了期末統考,全市只有兩個人拿到了數學滿分,一個當然是天才顧清朗,另一個是周小年。

                          寂寞無聲的英俊少年周小年終于被關注,有追過顧清朗的女生轉身跟蹤周小年。傳聞他的家境很窮困,只有母親和他相依為命,母親在一家小學門口擺小攤,餓些餃子云吞什么的賣給貪吃的小孩子們。周小年是個孝子,每日一放學就奔到母親的攤前,給母親打下手。

                          少女們總是容易對悲情人物付諸更多的同情,于是她們舍棄了在校門口等候王子顧清朗出現的時間,紛紛跑去周小年母親的路邊攤上照顧生意。數學課上,從前只疼愛顧清朗的老師也明顯把更多的慈祥目光投注在了周小年身上。

                          顧清朗漸漸感覺呼吸沉悶,周小年的出現,讓他第一次有種高速路上的失控感,他的心里有種說不出的憤怒,他想跳起來反抗,想狠狠地給搶走原屬于他的一切的周小年有力的一擊。

                          然而,對于顧清朗心里那些慢慢發酵的小情緒,周小年卻惘然未知。

                          對他來說,最快樂的事是考試拿到好成績就會看到母親在熱氣繚繞的大鍋后露出滿意的笑臉,那個時候,母親就會一邊熱情地招呼著客人,一邊得意洋洋地告訴他們,我兒子又拿第一了,今天的云吞我請客。

                          因為過于沉默,周小年沒有很要好的朋友,可是第一眼看到講臺上神采飛揚的顧清朗的時候,仿佛有一絲亮光穿透了他封閉的心房,那一刻他是多么希望自己有朝一日能成為顧清朗那樣的人。

                          他于是開始有意無意地接近顧清朗,中午去食堂打飯的時候會帶份飯給還坐在桌前解題的顧清朗,體育課上兩人總是抱了籃球如同小獸般在藍天下揮汗如雨……

                          周小年覺得,這就是友誼了吧,心有靈犀天長地久堅不可摧的友誼。放學后,他們常常單獨留下來解自認為能難倒對方的數學題,然后在暮色四合時分,大笑著勾肩搭背走出校門。有一天周小年問顧清朗:“你的夢想是什么?”顧清朗于是停下腳步,定定地看著周小年的黑眼睛,然后一字一頓地說:“我的夢想,就是要永遠做第一。周小年,你知道的,能人那么多,可第一,只有一個!”

                          不久,有消息傳來,全國奧賽再度開賽,此次將選拔出金獎選手遠赴美國參加國際奧賽,而在國際奧賽上獲獎的選手,將獲得全額獎學金奔赴美國做交換生,獎勵相當誘人。

                          顧清朗和周小年都收了心,下課也不出教室門,苦心準備著校際選拔賽。

                          選拔結果很快出來,周小年不僅奪得第一,而且打破了歷屆最高分,顧清朗緊隨其后,兩人被學校當作頭號種子選手,為即將到來的全國比賽做準備。

                          比賽的前一天,兩人同坐一張桌子一同聽數學老師進行賽前最后沖刺分析。不知是哪個仰慕他們的女生偷偷溜到窗前,咔嚓一聲,閃光燈晃過,兩人還未反應過來,膠片上已定格了彼此藏有心事的兩張臉。

                          高二那年的春天,山茶花開滿了校園。所有人都期盼著有好消息傳來,更有老師預言,周小年很有可能奪得金獎,為校增光。

                          可是,讓所有人跌破眼鏡的是,周小年和顧清朗都沒有得獎,而自那以后,周小年更是再沒回過學校。

                          后來,據知情的老師透露,周小年在賽場上被發現有作弊嫌疑,當場取消了考試資格,這也大大影響了同一考場顧清朗的情緒,最后導致顧清朗也發揮失常,沒能奪得獎牌。

                          沒有人知道周小年去了哪里,他和他母親的路邊攤仿佛一夜之間就消失了。有人說周小年的母親對周小年的作弊事件失望透頂,覺得沒臉再生活在這里,于是帶著周小年搬走了。于是又有人提出疑問:周小年數學那么好,他為什么要作弊呢?

                          經歷了這一事件后,顧清朗好像變了一個人似的,他開始沉默,每天坐在曾和周小年共同研究數學題的座位上安靜地看書。老師見了搖頭嘆息說:“這孩子,還沒從周小年的陰影里走出來呢。”

                          可是,只有顧清朗自己清楚,自己究竟背負了怎樣一個天大的秘密,這個秘密猶如隱秘的紅字,時刻燒灼著他的內心,讓他終日不得安生。

                          他還清楚地記得那日在考場,他抬頭,看見周小年胸有成竹地答題,往日里那些嫉恨如同澆了油的火,無比旺盛地在他心頭燃燒起來,于是他偷偷地疊了張小紙條,上面寫了些答案,趁老師轉身過去的時候朝周小年的桌上扔去。然后,正當周小年滿臉疑惑地打開紙條時,老師回頭了。

                          可是周小年,你知道嗎,從一開始你在黑板上質疑老師的題目時,我就想和你做好朋友了,那時我的心里充滿了對你的羨慕,我欣賞你,是真心想和你做知己的,你相信嗎?

                          但我低估了自己內心那只邪惡的小獸,我害怕你的天分和光環如同大海從此將我淹沒,你好似一個青春假想敵,每當我眼睜睜地看著那些曾經屬于我的榮耀和贊嘆都朝著你的方向狂奔時,我的內心便妒火奔騰,它們越燒越旺,逐漸讓我找不到回歸的方向。

                          周小年,你還記得比賽前有同學偷拍過我們嗎?你走后我特地找那位同學要了照片留作紀念,在這張照片里我們頭靠著頭,陽光正穿越塵埃灑進教室。你不知道我是多么的后悔,后悔沒來得及和你說一句“對不起”,以及“謝謝”.

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